Another video of writing with both hands

At the same time

By Vonia Martin

I'm Positive

You're Negative

By Vonia Martin (aka Bitch)

As soon as positive things start happening to me I will have positive things to say. As it is my positive attitude is in spite of you. Try all you want to bring me down, I will always be above you because I don't cause the misery, you do. You want everyone to be as miserable, no more miserable than you. Happiness is a choice!!!! I choose it because I can! No matter what happens they can't take your experiences from you. It's in these experiences I find my greatest wealth; truth. My unique perspective on life and the living have allowed me the will to go on in spite of no other reason to do so. (well maybe I'm chicken shit) My boyfriend tells me that I think too much of myself, you know what I tell him, he doesn't think enough of me. After stealing a lot of my ideas and passing them off as his own at the school he taught at, I don't have much left for him. Especially when I told him about growing up in foster care nothing is ever really yours not even your own ideas. This is why I started giving every thing away because I was tired of getting ripped off. No one ever shares the glory or the wealth no matter how much wealth and glory it brings them. What am I to do? No one believes me over a teacher or any one else for that matter. I belong to a group of people that no one chooses to belong to and no one ever brags about being in this exclusive club. Most don't even know they are in it. The disposable people club. Kids that have aged out of the system after spending the majority of their childhood in foster care. It's during this time in history that my voice may be heard but no one wants to hear it from the likes of me. Poor white trailer trash high school drop out knocked up at fifteen collecting welfare by eighteen and petty criminal by twenty with three more kids none have a father to speak of. It's all true but children, I never had any, fearing they would end up in foster care if some thing happened to me, since I wasn't married. I tried to be a criminal once but I sucked at it so I gave up nor have I ever been on welfare. From the beginning I knew I didn't want to be a statistic though that is all it boils down to. Numbers. Some people like to believe that numbers don't lie. Maybe they don't but human beings do.  So no kids for me but now I feel as though I'm ready to have some. Not because I'm well off financially because I'm not but because I have something to give. My will to live! These kids kill themselves at an alarming rate and no one has been able to give them a reason not to. I can. Actually, I can give them several that has worked for me so far: 1) What else do I have to do? I mean the alternative is death, right? Death sounds really boring to me and I hate being bored so we avoid the big "D" as I call it. 

2) To prove everyone wrong. Sometimes a person wants to say "I told you so" and as long as you're alive you are telling everyone "I told you so" and I get to say it too because I'm telling you if you are dead there is no coming back from that. As long as you're alive there is a chance to be a better person, to change ones situation for the better, as long as you're alive you have the opportunity to help other people. It's in serving others we find the greatest reason for living. Never pass up an opportunity to be of service to others as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Sometimes you may have to ask how you can do this and that's great because there is nothing more deflating then getting chewed out for doing something you thought was nice when in fact it wasn't. Also, gratitude is a burden so no good deed goes unpunished but if you give without expectation of any kind, donate anonymously so no strings attached giving becomes easy. Guess why? Because we are suppose to give. It is amazing how easy and fluid things become when doing the right thing when being of service to others. When you're a foster child you don't usually have much money but time is something you have an over  abundance of. If you're anything like me you have a hard time sleeping so doing things while everyone else sleeps works really well. If it's fall, raking leaves is always a way to help your neighborhood. Winter; shovel snow or clean off people’s car windows but watch out for alarms. Spring and summer have fun and exercise. Volunteer some where just don't tell anyone unless you might get in trouble. 

3) Believe me when I tell you that you deserve to be here as much as anyone else. You have as much to give as anyone else you just may have to work on your delivery. 

If you know some one who is in the foster care system or has aged out of it please be extra kind because they literally have no idea how to be a human being because all life has given them are poor examples of this. Just remember people are showing you how not to be as well as how to be, it is up to you to decide the difference.